In Real Life... Keep the Door Open a Crack For Our Kids !

Titus 2 :7 -And you yourself must be an example to them by doing good works of every kind. 

     " Mom, I saw you today !"
       " What do you mean?" I asked puzzled.
       " I saw you, when dad and I brought you lunch. The door was open a crack , and I saw you being kind to that lady."
        I was taken back. I had no idea my daughter was in the hall watching me.  She smiled at me before hugging me and bouncing off in that sweet , happy way that she does. I sat and pondered her words for a minute, " I saw you mom !"  I realized the truth in what I have been told by older, wiser moms for a long time. Our kids are watching. They are watching us whether we know it or not. Sometimes when we least expect it.
      It was a great reminder to me that my kids are indeed watching. They are watching how I treat others, respond in hard situations and talk when others are not present. They are even watching when I may not know they are. They are watching to see if I live out what I tell them I believe when I'm at home . Am I just telling them or are they seeing it in my life?  Am I walking with the Lord, reading His Word and asking Him to work in my life ? Is it coming out in my day to day routine and actions? Is it apart of my life at home, at work, in public and even when I am all alone?
      We cannot set up scenarios for our kids.  It's not a set of phony scenes we  can play out for our kids so they think we are good people. It should flow naturally out of our lives as we spend time drawing closer , and getting to know the Lord. It's a reflection of His goodness not our own. It should be an overflow of spending time getting to know Him.
     On the flip side my kids have seen other things in my life over the years. They have heard me criticize another person, or watched me pass up opportunities to thrive because I was hurt. My kids have watched me worry and whine. In those times I wasn't even cracking the door for them to see my bad behavior, I was pushing it open and letting it all roll out. They have seen the times I have not spent  in prayer or asked God to control my tongue and my attitude. But  hopefully as the years tick on my kids have watched me grow. I am not even close to being a perfect parent, but I hope I am a growing parent. He grows us moms so that we can be an example to our kids.
     You know dear lady just living this real life day to day, we know we cannot do it on our own. But when we take the time and make it a priority to seek the Lord, read his word and ask for His help, he is faithful to answer and to walk this life with us.I fall short more than I care to admit, but I hope when the door is accidentally open a crack and my kids catch me unaware that I am doing something that blesses their heart. Something that sets an example for their own life. Something that reflects Jesus. I will not always hit the mark, but I pray I am setting that example for my kids more and more.
     I desire as our kids grow, become adults and make choices of their own that they can reflect over examples we as parents have left. Not because we planned, and plotted out scenarios for our kids to catch us in some sort of fake act. No , but because we loved the Lord. Hopefully because we allowed him to work on us and use us in the midst of real life. Hopefully because we are living life as we follow Him. If our kids catch us with the door open a crack what a joy it would be to know they are seeing how we live when we don't know they're watching. What a privilege to set an example for them.
 

    Dear Lord, it is really about you working in us as moms ( parents). You are the one working on us and I pray our kids can witness that work. If we touch a life along the way it is because you are so good in our own lives that we wish to bless others. We fall short, and will fall short but you are in the habit of picking us up when we seek you for guidance. Give us a heart for people that need TLC, care, compassion and kindness and then give us the means to act on it. Help us as parents to reflect what walking with you looks like. And when you see fit lord leave the door open a crack for our kids to catch a glimpse of what following you means. Thanks that you can use any mom, anywhere. Not just a select few. You are able to enable us when we ask you for help.What  I want my daughter to know more than anything is , Mom did this because she loves the Lord. God you are the real example.

There are real life ways we crack the door open for our kids in our everyday life as their moms. Are you delivering a meal to someone sick, bring your kids. Are you going on a mission trip, bring the kids. Are you mowing a lawn, bring the kids.  Whatever you are doing, those small things God has layed on your heart to do for someone else, bring the kids. Not to show off, or put on a show, but to crack the door a little for your kids to see what that means to you. to set an example of how good God is in your own life.

In Real Life... There is One Great Thing We Can Pray for Our Kids.!

         "Good job mom !", she said after highly commending my kids. She had just shared with me a couple things she had seen in my older two that had inspired her. With her " Good job mom ! ", I had a minute to breathe on my hand , tuck my fingers in and give a one two on the middle of my blouse. But I couldn't, I knew the truth about  me and my mothering. Although I would have loved to take the mommy coated glory at that moment I could only look up and say, " Thanks God!" So that is what I told my sweet friend," if any of our kids turn out well and do well, the most we can do is say," thank you God!""
          When I look at my parenting I see a million mistakes and it didn't take long for me to start making them. When my oldest, was born I was overwhelmed with depression from unhealed hurt in my life. I found myself snappy and inpatient. As he grew and more kids came I found myself yelling more than I ever thought possible for a quiet girl like me. Thankfully, God began to heal those wounds and heal my attitude as a mom, but I still worried about those early mistakes I had made.With all my kids I can look back and see where I stressed too much, rushed too much and fussed too much . I was not the perfect mom who followed 5 step plans so that one day, one glorious day I could have the perfect children'.
           I can also look back though and see where God has helped me. to lighten up, have fun and enjoy my kids. He has given me fresh ideas, strength and everything else I needed when I asked Him. I know myself as a mom and I know myself with Gods help as a mom, so I much rather prefer to thank Him for the help.I told my friend before hanging up, " It is God that gets a hold of our kids. If it is not real for them and meaningful to them individually there is nothing we can do, no plan we can follow. It's that personal relationship that changes things.It's God's work in their hearts."
           There has been one great thing I have done that I shared with my friend .In my small opinion it is the greatest for our kids. I have prayed and continue to pray that God would get a hold of my kids hearts. My husband and I have often sat down, talked and said, we know if our kids have Jesus. If they love and cling to Him, they will be alright. He is the solid rock they need in this world of shifting, sinking sand.
             When I was 17, I loved the Lord. He had my heart. I hit struggles and challenges but He helped me, rescued me and got me through. Knowing what He did for me at a young age, there is no doubt He will keep my kids as well when they call on Him for help.I can look back and say this verse now with confidence for my own life and how He helped me when real life came rushing in. John 10:28-29 " I give eternal life to them, and they will never perish; and no one will snatch them out of My hand. "My Father, who has given them to Me, is greater than all; and no one is able to snatch them out of the Father's hand.…, " 
             I know my kids will hit real life soon enough. They will see things I wish they would never have to. They will encounter cruel people  and a world that threatens safety. They will be hurt by someone , let down by someone and mistreated by someone. They will face choices and may make the wrong choice at times. But I know as a mom if they have Jesus, no one can snatch them out of his hand. If they know and love the Lord, they have the greatest thing.
            So that is my prayer everyday. Among my struggles as a mom, my chore chart that I can never quite organize, my school schedule I can never quite perfect. But my prayer remains the same, "LORD please get a hold of my kids hearts that they will know and love you. "My kids have a big journey ahead. I do not know how or where they will end up. I only pray that every step they will know Jesus is with them. This is my only confidence as a mom. If they have Jesus , they have everything.. If I hear anything good, praise worthy, notable or inspiring, I can surely look up and say, "thank you God. "I know my helper and He deserves the credit. After all it is his hand that He keeps us . Moms and kids included.

Real Life is a " Whatever Circumstance !"

Philippians 4:11-13

for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. 12 I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. 13 I can do all things through him who strengthens me.

"What stood out to you honey?" My husband asked, sitting across the room on the couch. I knew exactly what had stood out in the chapter we were reading. It was that moment when a lump forms in your throat and the words jump off the page right into your heart. God's Word was doing it again, challenging me in the midst of real life. This verse was timely and I needed it this week more than ever. I was in escape mode. I wanted to run from my circumstance.

My circumstances had recently changed in an area of my life I have cherished for a long time. The circumstances I was used to, comfortable in. The circumstances that I liked. Things were different and now they seemed hard, challenging and honestly... sad. The thing I once found great joy and satisfaction in had become a heavy weight in the midst of my life. I looked up from the verses that were pounding at my hearts door and I knew I had my answer to this uncomfortable dilemma.

I in no way could or ever can compare myself to Paul's circumstances. When Paul said these things, he meant the worst conditions possible that I could ever imagine to endure. My situation could never compare to his challenges. But I also know and believe that God's Word applies to our everyday life. I knew I could apply what Paul was saying in my very circumstance.

In the last two months I had been trying to change things for the better. I didn't want to deal with the hard, the change. I was no longer appreciated as I had been in the past, I felt as Paul said, abased. I was not experiencing abundance in this circumstance, I felt in desperate need. I wasn't satisfied in changes, I was hungry for something better. I did a few things to try and escape. I was ready to move on and leave these new harder circumstances behind. I had said to myself, " Well, if I am not happy and appreciated here then I'll just move on."

But with my husbands words, " What stood out to you?" I knew my circumstances did not need to change, maybe they would never change. I needed to change my heart and learn to be content. Though I felt abased, I could be content. though I felt like I had been brought low, I could be content. Paul said he found the secret in verse 12. That secret is Christ alone. Paul said in ANY and ALL circumstances, and this fell in the any and all category. I couldn't just run away and pretend God's Word didn't apply to even this.

This week was different for me. Nothing has changed in my circumstances, but my perspective has. Instead of looking to escape this week, I endured a little better. Instead of wanting to run, I stayed. Instead of wishing to be back to my appreciated state I chose to be content, even though I felt abased. I reminded myself of my new found verses and found joy in my secret of contentment. Contentment came and I hope is coming more and more as I grow in the Lord because... " I can do ALL things THROUGH CHRIST who strengthens me."

Do you wish to run, to choose a more comfortable area where you feel appreciated, accepted and let's admit it , easy peasy ? I know how you feel. But Philippians challenged me to stick it out and I hope it challenges you in your circumstances too. I hope as I am growing that I keep learning in my any and ALL circumstances to be content. I hope I am allowing Christ to strengthen me to do all things, even the thing I am not comfortable or content in doing. Real Life is a whatever circumstance. There will always be a new challenge. I can run or I can be content. I can learn the secret.

Lord, you are the secret of contentment in any and all circumstances. When I start looking at people, places and things I get discouraged. My contentment comes in you. Even when I am brought low, when I am abased, would you teach me to be content even in this ? I like things easy, I like to be approved, but I know your Word says I can still be joyful, happy and content when things are not going my way. I choose you Lord. I choose you over people and situations and my circumstances. May I truly be able to say as I grow that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. You be my strength no matter what is going on around me. Help me not to run so quickly, help me to stand in you my secret to contentment, Amen.